My darling daughter, Kristen, will be three years old on March 24, 1997. Probably the sweetest words I ever heard were those of this past holiday season, my little "angel baby" (as I call her and therefore, she believes) in her lovely young voice saying, "Merry Christmas, mommy." I can still hear those words, and I doubt I will never be unable to hear them...

A very demanding young lady, she is, and those of you that really know me quickly say, "Of course she is...", yes, her mother is, too. Unlike my son Stephen (now almost eleven), who was the epitome of the perfect baby and toddler, Kristen was a "high-need" person from day one. She started with colic, and just as that subsided (at around what, 3-1/2 months?), in started the teeth. Yes, that young. They came in leaps and bounds, and they were painful. It seems, in retrospect, that her life has been meshed with pain, which seems to explain her strength in dealing with it today...

Kristen began to have, in a polite manner of speaking, digestive problems such that she was put on a vegetable laxative in order to maintain some sense of, ummm, normal "flow" in her life. Without something added, such as that, she would have severe (and I do mean severe) problems.

I came to expect the problems she had, and considered them normal, as all the doctors I had seen continued to tell me that it was quite common for children to withhold...

Two weeks ago, Kristen began vomiting in her sleep, and then would have diarrhea through the day. It was easily dismissed, if you will, by me and my parents as a virus of some sort or another. There were even two days in the first week that she appeared normal. But it didn't stop. Every day, at about 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning, she would awaken vomiting, and then would have anywhere from one to four more episodes within the next 3 hours. The diarrhea would start in the morning and would randomly hit - sometimes at night, sometimes at morn - whatever, no specific pattern.

When I called the doctor's office, they told me to put her on a bland diet. I did that. The symptoms continued. Finally, this past Sunday, I took her to Children's Hospital. They suspected giardia, a microscopic parasite normally obtained by drinking contaminated water, and drew much blood and asked us to return a stool sample for lab testing.

Little did I know that all that blood was for one test and one test alone - the same test the sample was for - giardia. Well, those tests were negative. After spending the afternoon in the pediatrician's office, we now have an appointment in the morning, again, at Children's Hospital. More blood, this time for the (one would think) normal CBC and chem profile, but also, for an ultrasound because there is suspected an enlarged liver.

I have rushed home and checked the internet for what that means. It means all bad things. There is nothing good about an enlarged liver. And now I sit here, trying to sort it all out - trying to make some sense of it all. Some day I will take you through the story of how the Lord showed me I didn't know everything there was to know with my son. Not today, though - today, I'm looking for strength to get me through what might be...

If you have children, love them, cherish them, protect them, teach them, spend time with them. There may not be time to spend with them later. We do not have control over our lives, we must take what is given to us. It isn't always good.

Kristen, my precious Angel Baby, mommy loves you. Mommy loves you so much. I pray to God you will continue to be with me... You have already made such a difference in my life, and I so much want to contribute to your life...

My friends, love your children. You just never know what will happen...